Latido de mi Corazon

Stop letting boys treat you like shit. From this moment on: 

no more waiting around.
no more trying to make it work
no more frieking liking a guy who ignores you until it’s convenient for him.
NO MORE

thanks. 
Kasie

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A letter to your dreams.

Dreams,

Trying to decipher whether I should be writing to my night time dreams, or the dreams of what I want to do when I “grow-up”.  So I guess that I will write a bit to you both. Nighttime dreams - Can you please stop being so confusing and vivid.  I’d like to actually rest when I sleep if given the chance.  I don’t need lots of old reminders of the past, or crazy visions that don’t make any sense. I just need you to calm down a bit when I close my eyes at night.  Flowers, the ocean, anything serene. You can play and replay those as much as you want! Thanks. To my real Dreams.  I am here to give you a bit of encouragement. Sometimes you don’t believe that you can reach your true potential. Sometimes I believe that you don’t trust in yourself.  But trust me, you know exactly what you want.  So impress people, and go out there and get it.  You want your internship with Livenation - You got it.  A job with Universal - Check.  Just make sure that you never give up on yourself, and that you push further and harder than you have ever pushed yourself before.  The doors are open, just make sure that you run through them before anyone else gets the chance! :) And by the way, thanks for keeping me on my toes!

Me.

Life lately has been crazy hectic.  I feel life my life is bipolar. Calm and collected for a moment, and then flipped upside down in the blink of an eye. Sometimes I wish that I was a kid again, and didn’t have to worry about dealing with all the stuff that is going on between my parents, but I am not, and I do.  Between juggling school, friends, work and family its like I don’t have time for myself.  I re-read a note last night I wrote to my dad before I left for Mexico three years ago.  It was perfect for the situation that I am going through now, and I am feeling the exact same emotions.  This time though I don’t believe that it will get better like it did three years ago. So we will just have to wait and see i suppose.  One of the biggest parts of the letter that still resonates so well with today is the fact that I can never please him.  I don’t get a job, i need to get one.  I get a job, Im not spending enough time at home, or my grades are suffering. I start spending time at home, and then im not doing enough around the house.  Its an endless cycle. Im done trying to please.  Its my life and my summer. And sorry if that hurts, but its the truth. Ending on a Bright note! Im going Karaoking tonight! :) Pictures up later maybe!

008.

A letter to a sibling.

Beau,

Aghhhh, there is so much to say to you.   So much that I wish that you could be.  I also have so much to ask you… But im going to give you advice even though I know you won’t listen.  You are bigger than this.  You are much more than what you have let yourself become.  You are intelligent (no matter what people tell you), you are a good person, and you have a heart.  There is no reason that you should be getting into the trouble that you are getting into.  Walk away from the crowd.  Your so called friends do nothing but get you in trouble.  You are and can be a leader.  Be that leader. Set an example.  Remember that one retreat that you went to with Johnny and all the guys from Oasis?  The one where you brought home the paper sword that is hanging up.  What’s that say?  Everytime I see it I wish that you would look at it.  Really truely look at it.  And take it in. Because it is the truth. You have so much of your life left to live.  And so much to offer those people around you.  Don’t do things just because you believe that your friends will think that you are cool for it! Because trust me, ending up in jail, or homeless is NOT COOL.  So please take some time to think about your actions, and realize that those actions have consequences.  And realize how much you have to offer the world. And then make your next move!!!! I love you. And I will always be there for you.  You may get mad because I yell at you. But I really just want the best for you, even if you may not see it that way.

Me.

Life lately; Where to begin.  Last weekend was the best. But goodbyes are always the hardest part.   I feel like Im stuck in a cycle.  You asked me Saturday when we were laying there and I finally stopped talking what I was thinking.  And I was thinking about how much I liked you. How even after a month of not seeing you, I could lay next to you, and still get butterflies.  But I was also thinking about the fact that you are graduating in six months. And what is going to happen after that.  When I left home Saturday morning I thought I had it all figured out.  I liked you, and if you asked, I would have dated you in an instant.  I still probably would.  But my mind and my heart are both struggling with the fact that in six months you may not be here.  A job in Chicago, and in a year possibly a grad school there.  It would be amazing if you stayed at IU, but you and I both know that you really want to go to school in Chicago. And if it came down to it, there is no way i would let you stay at IU just because of me.  Of course here I am assuming that you feel about me the same way that I feel about you.  Which may be wrong altogether.  I believe though in fate and because of that I am just going to Enjoy this time.  Im going to enjoy my summer, live my life and let whatever is going to happen, HAPPEN. Its the only thing that I can do at this point. 

Since my computer is about to die and I’ve already hit two majorrrrrr subjects in one day, Ill finish out my thoughts tomorrow!

Peace && <3

007.

Day 3; your parents

Mom and Dad, 

Where to begin besides I love you both so much. I know that you are going through a rough time right now and I know it isn’t going to get better anytime soon! But I love you. You both have taught me so much in your own little ways! So I want to thank you for both being the best parents that you could be

.007

DAY 2; Your Crush.

Crush,

What can I say?  Besides the fact that you are one of the first guys since my Ex who has made me feel this way about life.  Everytime I think of you I just get happy.  There are many other guys who I find attractive. There are lots of other guys who I think would be fun to go out with. But in the end, it always comes back to you.  In the end, you are the one who i would most like to date. You are the one that I can see myself with in the next month, the next year.  You may not be the hottest guy I have chasing after me, but i find you more attractive than any of them.  Your big smile, the way the sunlight hit your eyes when we sat in Dunn Meadow. Its all perfect. Your outlook on life, on friendship, on school and work it amazes me.  You are motivated, and serious but funny, and laid back.  You are the first guy that can keep up with/match my long list of things to do, people to see, and events to organize. And I love that even with all of these things that you have to do, you can still manage to spend time with me. :) I can’t wait to see where things go. I am still not sure how you feel about me, but im not going to worry about these things now. Im just going to enjoy the time I get to spend with you.

Me

Tomorrow morning I leave for Bloomington. I have a fun-filled weekend planned and I get to see some really awesome people while I am there! Its going to be amazing! Plus the weather is supposed to be nice, so it will be a beautiful trip!! Not sure how much time I will have to post this weekend. So if you don’t hear from me. See you on Tuesday.

Peace && <3 

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Yay! I now have one follower!!! Thanks Holly! :) You can follow her at theloverush.tumblr.com!

Also thanks to Holly I found an awesome idea that I believe would give me something to talk about on here besides just silly rambling!!

30 Day Letter Challenge ; Everyday you write a letter to someone new!

DAY ONE; Your Best Friend.

L.

Wow. The strength that you have. I would be amazed and honored to be half of the woman that you are.  Thank you for what you have shown me, what you have taught me, and what you have yet to teach me.  Everyday I learn something new about you. And in the process something new about myself. Thank you for being there for me during this time of need.  I know that It was hard when i left for school and that we didn’t talk nearly as much as either one of us would have probably liked. But just know that I do promise to try and do better this year.  Thank you for having me in your home. For making me a place that I can call my own, where I can get away from all of the tension and sadness that is going on at my house.  It definately helps financially, but you don’t know what it has done for my soul. and Thank you for always being there to listen to me.  I know that Im always a great talker and not always the best listener, but that has never stopped you from taking the time to hear me rant! I hope that your life turns out to be everything that you want it to be and more. Becuase you, more than anyone, deserve it.

M.

What can I say? We have had our ups and downs that is for sure. But no matter what the good has always outweighed the bad! I know that you are there for me, and believe me I will always be here for you.  That letter that I wrote you on Facebook at the beginning of this summer.  I meant every word. And I hope that when I go back to school that you and I can have crazy skype sessions, and long talks on the telephone at 1 in the morning. because I miss being crazy like we used to. I know we are growing up, but can we please never forget all the fun stuff that we used to do in highschool. Especially All the pictures. Love Ya Betch.

E.

Right now I feel like we aren’t on the best terms. I also feel like I have no idea whats going on in your life, or you in mine. But I miss you. And I want your pretty little face back in my life. So stop babysitting and get your cute ass to the beach with me pleaseeeeee.

Love,
K.

~ First final today. One day until Bloomington thank god!!! I cannot wait. 4th day in a row of working out. Have lost 4 pds so far. Haven’t drank soda for 3 weeks.  Now im just ready for this belly to dissapear. Please and Thank you. But, even though it is still there I am feeling really good about myself, and really good about the way that I look. Which I have realized makes other people around me (the boys), like the way that I look. And making myself feel good was what this whole diet thing was all about in the first place!:)

Peace && <3